Dear Readers,
Greetings from a sunny morning in London. The bricks are warming in the light and the birds are singing with saucy intent. Good vibes in the air.
This morning on bus I thought about recipes. We’re moving soon-ish, and we’re cooking what’s left in the cupboards and the freezer. Putting things together without buying too many new ingredients. Making up meals without recipes. The Muse is a dab hand at this – she kind of gestures gracefully over the pots with sprinkles of this that and something else and in about a minute she’s created food that is utterly sensational. I take a different tack. I look for a recipe with a small number of ingredients that might be made in one or two pots and probably has too many tinned tomatoes in it, then double the quantities of everything (except garlic, which I triple). (And then I’ll get really excited about that recipe and cook it all the time, like rinsing a new favourite song.) Luckily, there’s lots of great recipes out there.
I wasn’t thinking about those kinds of recipes though. I was thinking about the other kind that’s probably just as popular – blueprints for successful living, how to live well, be yourself, be more dog and all that stuff. I’ve been reading Atomic Habits, which is pretty good still, and talking to Stan, but the thing I think that’s sticky is that I’m a bit stubborn. I don’t like being told what to do, and I don’t like being told that I’m doing it wrong. That’s two kinds of stubborn. So I rankle a bit at these guides – who do they think they are, telling me what to do and how to do it? It’s silly I suppose (bit of a judgement there), but that is my immediate reaction. I take it personally.
But in my current round of unsuccessful living I’m trying something different. Instead of grumpily following recipes I don’t like, I’ve been picking the ingredients I like and making up my own as I go along. It seems to be working. I’m much happier/more level/more balanced/more satisfied that I was a couple of months ago. Here are the ingredients I’m using:
Going to bed around ten
Getting up around six
Walking every second day
Running (not very far) every second day
Chatting with family and friends
Reading some fiction
Reading some non-fiction
Drinking less alcohol
Eating more fruit and vegetables
It’s revolutionary stuff, right? Exercise, rest, eating well, staying social. The difference for me is that I’m a) actually doing all of these things regularly and b) I don’t care if I don’t do them all. A couple of months ago I wasn’t doing a single one of the enjoyable things on the list – I was doing the opposite, destructive version, like idle boozing or watching garbage movies online – so even doing a few of them is a massive win. So now the ingredients are all the same, but the recipe varies to suit my taste. I’m making it personal. Something like that.
Actually, there is one new thing – journalling. There’s a whole world of how-to-do-journaling out there but I’ll share how I do it. One more won’t hurt. Most days, early-ish, I write out these questions and their answers in a copybook:
How am I feeling?
What am I looking forward to today?
What am I concerned about?
What’s new?
That’s it. Some days, some of the questions don’t have an answer. The early answers to question three are heavy reading, and the recent ones lighter. Sometimes the answers relate to myself, sometimes to other people, sometimes to all of us. I might not read it all again.
Those are my ingredients. Let me know yours, if you like.
Yours sincerely,
Paul
p.s. this week I finished that Kae Tempest book. Did I tell you I was reading it? I don’t remember. Anyway, it was exceptional – I recommend it.